Unfortunately, that is NOT what my life looks like at the moment. I’ve been driving myself crazy writing papers, though I can finally see the end approaching. I’ve got two more papers and three finals before the semester is over. Most of the other schools in the area are already done so that’s a little frustrating, but it’s alright. I just wish I could sit outside to write my papers. But it’s too bright for me to see the computer screen out there. So I’m stuck indoors until I get these papers out of the way.

But even when finals are over, my life will continue to be highly scheduled for a while. I’ve got a final on Friday and two on Saturday. Then on Sunday my parents are coming down to help me move all of my stuff into the duplex that Nick and I will be renting for the next year or so. I don’t actually get to move in, but he is letting me store our stuff there until our lease begins on June 1 so we don’t have to move it twice. But I won’t be around to enjoy the first 3 months of my lease anyway, because  on Monday (in just 5 days!), I head back to Washington!

Michelle and I are going to take 5 days and enjoy the roadtrip, spending a day in Yellowstone just for fun. We’ll get in to Fort Lewis Friday afternoon and Nick will HOPEFULLY *fingers crossed!* be home a week or two after that!

Oh, I’m so excited to get my husband home! For the first time in a while, I will be thanking the Army for something. Sending my husband home early is basically the best thing they could do right now. He’ll even make it back before my 21st birthday. I’m SOOO excited to have him again. We’re much better when we’re together!

In the meantime, however, I don’t really have time to stop and breathe. This was the break I’m allowing myself for today. I have to write a paper for tomorrow, and I really shouldn’t be stopping to blog at all, but I’m going crazy and needed a distraction. So… back to the Politics of Marriage in the United States, India and Sweden…

And now, a story.

A few years ago, some friends of mine were looking to start a worship band. Worship on our campus was inconsistent at best, and they were hoping to fill a void which had appeared. I happened to walk by as they were planning all of this out. Diana would play guitar, Laura would be on drums (she was, after all, a percussianist… how different could it be?). Joe had never played an electric guitar, but he’d get used to it quickly. Will was willing to play an instrument as well. He played basically everything but piano. And then I walked by. “Jenny, you play guitar, don’t you?” Very poorly. “Perfect! You’ll play bass!” Will, despite playing bass very well, was going to play keys.

And so it was decided. Nothing made sense. We had no place to practice, no drum set to use. I didn’t own a bass. Joe was borrowing Diana’s electric guitar. Will had never played keys in his life. Laura had taken drum lessons for a year or so in middle school. But we knew that this is what God was calling us to. And so we went for it.

After about a week of practicing, we sat down and spent some time in the Bible together. And God led us straight to 2 Corinthians 12:5-10.

On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses. Though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Turns out Will can play keys really well. And Joe loves the electric guitar. Laura’s got the thing for rhythm, and Diana’s organization and vision made us function well together. I even picked up the bass pretty quickly. But the whole time, we knew that none of this was from us. We shouldn’t have been able to get together at a church in town (where we got permission to practice in a fluke run-in) and whip out a song in a few hours. But we did. Because God wanted it that way.

Through that experience, I learned that my strength doesn’t actually exist. Every morning, when I pull myself out of bed and face the day, I am acutely aware of the fact that I am weak and helpless. That I can’t do any of on my own. I cannot face watching Nick walk away from me on my own strength. But when I am weak, and when I let God live through me, then I am strong. As I continually give up my rights, my dreams, my ideals and trade them in for the will of God, I find that strength comes naturally, not from within or from the world, but from the Spirit of God living inside of me. My strength is supernatural in origin. And that makes me unstoppable. And you unstoppable, if you’ll let the Spirit move!

This post is part of the Wives of Faith Spring Blog Carnival!

I’ve been super stressed with finals coming up, with good reason, I feel. I was supposed to have at least one paper due every day next week. And three of those papers are pretty significant portions of my grades. I didn’t even think to go to God about that stress though. I can be such a dimwit when it comes to remembering to ask God for help in even the small things. But He saw out stressed I was even though I didn’t tell Him about it. And today, two of the papers were given extensions. The deadline for one moved from Monday to Friday, and the one for Wednesday was pushed back a full week. And those are the ones I haven’t done any work on yet. What a great way to end the academic week!

But of course, there’s more. There’s ALWAYS more.

I was also stressed about not knowing the specifics of when Nick will be coming home and what our lives will look like when his enlistment is up in October. I like to know what the plan is, and not having a plan was freaking me out. Specifically, I was stressed about where we would be living next year. To the point where I almost said yes to a place which, though very charming and quaint, met zero of the requirements we had for a place. As I was telling Nick about it, he calmly pointed all of this out and assured me that we’d find something that fit our wants, needs, and budget. Just hearing the certainty in his voice calmed me down, and I decided to trust in his wisdom and wait to see what would come next.

And today, I checked back at a few sites online to find a new property added to the list. A 2 bedroom upper floor duplex in our price range. With laundry in the unit. A dishwasher. And a garage space! Every single item on our list in one place. So I called and toured the unit. It’s a completely remodeled upper floor of a home built around 1900 and significantly added onto. With 1 1/2 bathrooms and extra closets everywhere, it is PERFECT for us! So I have filled out the rental application and will mail it in on Monday. AND I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT IT.

But really. I am a doubting Thomas. And my husband, once again, proves himself to be faithful to the voice of God, calm and strong where I am weak, and able to sooth my spirit from across an ocean. He is am amazing man and I am so blessed to have him.

Here is a picture of the duplex kitchen (with my lovely roommate, Colleen)!

Colleen in the Kitchen!

Pickle Rolls

1 pkg deli sliced ham
1 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese
1 jar baby pickles (dill or Kosher dill)
toothpicks

Spread cream cheese on each slice of ham. Place pickles end to end on the cream cheese side of the ham, and roll them up. Place toothpicks half and inch apart along the entire role. Slice between toothpicks. Serve cold.

Trust me on this one… I know it sounds disgusting, but it’s honestly the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten. I cannot eat just one… or five. I’ll eat them until they’re gone.

This post is part of the Wives of Faith Spring Blog Carnival!

I know it’s hard to be away. It’s hard to have you away too. But this is what God planned for us. He has a bigger purpose in all of this. I’m still not entirely sure what that purpose is, but I can see the good things that He has done through these past nine months apart from each other.

We’re debt free! God has taken our desire to serve him with our finances and turned that desire into results. By His grace, we were able to pay off the truck loan. What a blessing this is! With you getting out of the military in a few months, not carrying around the burden of loan payments will be much appreciated. It means the world to me to know that you are working so hard to keep our family financially secure.

God has also done great things as far as restoring my relationships here at school. By placing me back in this house with my roommates, He has opened up doors for new friendships and solidified old ones. My friends can now see how good you are for me, and they no longer question whether us getting married when we did was what God had for us. Now they can see that we were following hard after God in all of that. What a testimony we have with them now!

God has heard our prayers. Even though the Army took you away early, gave  you the short end of the deal with leave, and generally tried to discourage your spirit, God has seen fit to speak louder than the Army. And so, answering fervent prayers from me and many of our friends, God has allowed YOUR battalion to come home early. And the Army, though not bound to the voice of God in any way we can see, heard His voice and is allowing it to happen. God is faithful. And the Army cannot go against His will!

You’re just a few more weeks away from home. This is almost over. And we’re stronger for it. God has stretched us in uncomfortable ways, challenged us to follow Him harder, and encouraged us to love each other through Him. This deployment has been hard, and life after the Army will be hard also. Our lives will be filled with challenges and situations in which we just want to give up. But if we’ve learned anything through this deployment, let it be this: God is faithful. He has good things for those who love and pursue Him. So long as we keep our gaze fixed on Christ, we will be safely carried to the land of Glory.

I love you more than words can say. You and me against the world, sweetheart. You and me.

Jenny

This post is part of the Wives of Faith Spring Blog Carnival!

10. We pay a lot of money for those fancy phones with internet so that no matter where we are, all of our calls can be forwarded to our cell phone, we can respond to text messages on the go, and always be reachable by our loved ones serving overseas. Bills get expensive. But at least we get to hear from them.

9. The heat-maker is gone. I don’t know about everyone else, but one of the worst parts about sleeping alone is that I get cold without my husband. He’s the furnace. I’m the heat-sucker. We compliment each other well. But at least we don’t have to fight for the bed or covers.

8. People stare. I hate the looks of pity I get when people find out that my husband is in Iraq. I really don’t need pity. I need support, maybe a helping hand, someone to tell me if the rattling of my car is an issue or just a sign that it’s survived another Minnesota winter. Pity serves no purpose. But at least people recognize the sacrifice we’re all making.

7. We have to make all the decisions alone. Where to put and spend the money, how much to save, which apartment to rent, which oil to put in the truck. Its a lot of choices, and I don’t like making the wrong one. But at least we have POAs so that banks, the IRS and landlords LET us make the decisions.

6. One of the hardest things I’ve encountered so far is the lack of policy regarding married students (and ESPECIALLY married students whose significant other isn’t around) at school. Housing, financial aid, class registration, ditching class randomly right before mid-terms TWICE because of unexpected R&R. Keeping my cell phone on during class. I’m paving my own way through this administration… But at least I’m getting an education and keeping myself occupied.

5. Watching the news and talking about the wars with other people. I’m glad they have opinions and that they are trying to be informed citizens, but they really don’t know what is going on. None of us do. Our soldiers have a better idea, but not a perfect one. Plus, I’d just as soon like to not even think about it. But at least we have the freedom to talk about such things and criticize our government. Most of the people around the world cannot even consider doing such things.

4. The dumb questions and comments. “Do you miss him?” “I couldn’t do it.” “Don’t you worry that he’ll cheat on you?” Yes. You could if you had to. No, not even a little. I really wish people would think before they speak. But at least they will probably never have to do what we’re doing now.

3. The loneliness. Maybe it’s less on military installations, but here in Minnesota with all my non-military, non-married friends, life gets lonely. We’re just in different life stages, and they can’t understand where I am, let alone what I’m dealing with as the wife of a deployed soldier. But at least I have friends who will drop everything to pray for and with me if I ask them to.

2. The time leading up to the good-byes. Maybe it’s just me, but I always feel like the anticipation of Nick leaving is significantly worse than him actually being gone. But at least we learn to savor every moment.

1. Inconsistent quiet times together. This is the hardest part for me. Nick and I get to talk on Skype quite a bit, but getting time alone is tricky, and this keeps us from really sharing reading the Bible together. But God is good.

This post is part of the Wives of Faith Spring Blog Carnival!

10. If we’re not satisfied in our current situation, all we have to do is wait a few minutes. Things will change. Boredom is never an issue.

9. Discounts! Who doesn’t love 25% off IHOP? I certainly do! Bring on those hash-browns!

8. I can collect recipes from all over the country and the world! No need to limit myself to Minnesotan hot-dishes Potlucks on military bases are my favorite.

7. The USO. If you’ve never been to one, go. Those terrible lay-overs are much more manageable with free food, comfortable couches, and a place to recharge your electronics. Also, the ones I’ve been to do not have florescent lighting. I hate florescent lighting.

6. Job security. I’m a big fan of job security. No matter how bad this recession gets, we’ll at least have our income.

5. Health insurance. Tricare may be a pain in the butt a lot of the time, but at least I know that if something terrible were to happen to Nick or me, they’d take care of us.

4. We have friends all over the world and have people to visit/stay with when we travel.

3. Friends become family when family is too far away. Military Families are there for birthdays, holidays, and all the firsts. In my experience, families are willing to take lonely wives in when the Boys are gone. I’m sure you already know this, but eating dinner with friends is a whole lot better than eating leftovers by yourself.

2. I know that I am doing my part to serve my country. Though I’m not the one physically standing in harm’s way, I put my heart on the line everyday. I’m glad I can do something.

1. No matter where the Army takes us, I have learned that my God is already there. Going into a new neighborhood, a new group of friends, a new church, I am constantly amazed at the fact that God is already there. He is bigger than the small world I know. Seeing Him in so many places gives me the encouragement to know that He’s already where my family is going.

This post is part of the Wives of Faith Spring Blog Carnival!

Here are a few of the verses which I cling to on the rough nights. They give me peace and encouragement. They are reminders for how Big my God is.

Proverbs 31:25 – “She is clothed in strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

Matthew 6:34 – “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Psalm 55:16-18 – “As for me, I will call upon God, and the Lord shall save me. Evening and morning and at noon I will pray, and cry aloud, and He shall hear my voice. He has redeemed my soul in peace from the battle that was against me.”

This post is part of the Wives of Faith Spring Blog Carnival!

As we grew up, we became acquaintances and eventually friends through the junior and senior high youth groups. There were only 40 of us on a good night, so we were able to interact quite a bit. As we grew up, we both began to have feelings for each other. We danced around the issue for a long time until I got fed up with it and finally asked him out my sophomore year of high school. He gave me a stuttered answer involving feelings for an ex-girlfriend and leaving the country after graduation. This was all before the military had even entered his mind. At the time, he wanted to study in Australia and become a youth pastor.

But he never went to school. Instead, he got into drugs and alcohol and ended up not graduating with his class. His mom even kicked him out of the house once. He did get his diploma though.. it just took an extra semester. He loafed around our hometown for a few months, working jobs he hated, and then realized that his life was not going to work out the way he had wanted it to. So he joined the Army. He left for BCT on May 4th, 2006. I was a junior in high school.

My life, unlike his, was working out wonderfully. I had a great group of friends, was doing well in all of my advanced classes, and was busy applying to four year colleges. I went to his good-bye party more as a busy friend than as anything else. But for whatever reason, that goodbye was harder than I had imagined it being.

Nick left for Basic Training, and I wrote him a letter every week. I knew nothing about the military, so my letters were filled with questions. I never did get a letter answering any of those questions though. I only ever received two letters from him while he was at training. It was the second letter that changed our lives.

I came home from a weekend with my family on the Fourth of July to discover a letter waiting for me. I opened it and read the first line before my heart skipped a beat. Before writing anything else, Nick confessed his love for me and told me about he had been such an idiot to turn be down more than a year before. After rereading the letter many times, I wrote one back. I told him that I couldn’t date him through letters, but that we could talk everything through when he came home again, whenever that would be. A few weeks later, he paid someone to use their cell phone and called just to say hello. He graduated BCT a few days later and went straight into AIT. We probably talked to each other once or twice a week through AIT, though we never made any decisions about our relationship.

He graduated AIT in the fall of my senior year of high school. It was homecoming season, and I had made plans to go to the football game and dance with some friends. I even had a dress and a date: the home-schooled son of my pastor. He was a good friend and I knew he wouldn’t get to go to a dance otherwise. We had dinner at a friend’s house and then drove in a big group to the high school for dance. Turns out my friends are all pretty sneaky though.

As we pulled up to the high school, one of my friends made a phone call, I assumed to some friends we were meeting there. As I got out of the car, however, Nick came out from behind one of the pillars for the door. I sprinted toward him (in heels!) and jumped into the best hug I’d had in months. Turns out another of our friends had convinced the school administration to let Nick be her guest for the evening without all of the paperwork. Nick had graduated AIT 3 days early and had come home to surprise me! And it was a VERY nice surprise

Homecoming, September 2006

We spent the night dancing and holding hands, enjoying seeing each other for the first time in months. We were finally on the same page with each other, and it all felt so right. We started dating three days later after meeting up at Perkins to talk things through. We then had 25 days together before he left for his first duty station: South Korea.

We had no idea what Korea would be like. We didn’t know if Nick could get deployed from there, and we had no idea when block leave was. So after less than a month together, I brought Nick to the airport to say goodbye for what I thought could be up to two years (a year in Korea and a year deployed). He got a Vonage phone and the internet and we were able to keep in touch that way. We talked nearly every day when he wasn’t in the field.

He was home 5 months later for two weeks of Emergency Leave for his grandmother’s funeral. After that, he finished his year in Korea and headed to Fort Lewis (now Joint Base Lewis-McChord), Washington. He arrived at the end of October, and I made plans to go visit him over Thanksgiving 2007 (my freshman year of college).

Space Needle in Seattle, Nov 2007

We spent five days together before I flew back to Minnesota for the rest of fall semester. He was able to come home and see his family for Christmas that year, the first time he’d been home in more than nine months. From then on, I spent most of the time when I didn’t have class in Washington with him. He came down on orders for a deployment beginning the summer of 2009, so over my visit Thanksgiving 2008, we talked about getting married before he shipped out. After a lot of time in prayer, we decided that this was, in fact, what God wanted for our lives.

Coming home and informing our families and all of my friends that we would be getting married in just two short months was quite the task. My parents were concerned that I would never finish school, and my friends were convinced I had gone off the deep-end. One group of friends wrote me a letter (out of love, though it was not received that way), expressing the discontent they all had with our quick decision. Another group of friends came right out and told us it was a sin for us to get married because my parent’s disapproved. It was not a fun time, to say the least. But I knew what God was calling us to and tried my hardest to not be terrified of destroying all those friendships in the process.

Our Wedding Day, Feb 7, 2009

We were married on February 7th, 2009 and had exactly six months together before he left for his tour in Iraq. During those six months, he spent 15 days in the field and 36 days at NTC at Fort Irwin, California. When we was home, we spent our time at church, with our friends, and with each other. We formed a tight-knit group with 3 other couples (and three small children), and we grew into our very own Military Family.

We’re now 8 1/2 months into this deployment, but we’re lucky. As a mechanic, Nick’s job is a lot less dangerous than a lot of others. He leaves the FOB, but rarely. He has internet in his room (a private room, mind you), so we’re able to talk almost daily. We’re most fortunate, however, because the Army is in the process of their “responsible drawdown” of combat forces in Iraq. And Nick is included in that. To avoid the inevitable bottle-neck of troops trying to out-process through Kuwait, they have to send some home early. And Nick’s battalion was selected to be a part of that.

Our story is just beginning, though the chapter label “Run by the Government” will be ending shortly. Nick’s enlistment is up in October, and he’ll be coming home to Minnesota, where I’ll be finishing my last year of undergrad. From there, we can do whatever God calls us to. And we are very excited to see what that is!

This post is part of the Wives of Faith Spring Blog Carnival!

We’re singing it for our Mother’s day concert this year. Unfortunately, it tends to leave a bad taste in my mouth. A choir I was in my senior year of high school also sang it, and it was anything but pleasant. I enjoyed that arrangement more, but it was one of those songs that the underclassmen girls just. kept. singing. Class would end, and I’d hear it in the halls for the next three hours.

And that song gets old fast.

As we sang through it this last week, however, I got to thinking about the words. Though the meanings I’m applying to them certainly were not intended when it was written, I ask you to read the lyrics with a deployment in mind.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred;
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee;
In inches, in miles, in laughter in strife?
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes;
How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes;
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

In truth that she learned or in times that he cried
In bridges he burned or the way that she died
Its time now to sing out though the story never ends
Let’s celebrate remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee;
In inches, in miles in laughter, in strife?
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes;
How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?
Remember the love.
Measure in love.

I’m not sure yet what my measuring stick of choice is. I don’t want it to be in pages written or books read or television shows watched. But those seem to the other tangible, countable, measurable things I have to show for the last 8 1/2 months.

New goal: Measure these last two months “in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.” Awake for all of it (this is where the coffee comes in…). Savoring it. Cherishing it. Spending it with the amazing friends that God has so graciously given me.